Letter to Sesame Street Daily Editor

I’m writing to address an issue within our community (if your community is Sesame Street, I carry dual citizenship). Many of you may be familiar with the crime fighting organization, Smart Cookies. 3 very competent cookies (Chipowski, Miss Fortune and Figby) make up this team along with one very unqualified Cookie Monster.

Chipowski, Miss Fortune, Figby and Cookie Monster

I am sure we are all equally concerned with the frequency in which Cookie Monster cannot identify The Crumb, who is a known villain/baker in the region. Episode after episode we see that a simple mustache, hat or sunglasses is enough to convince Cookie Monster that he isn’t speaking to The Crumb. I’m discouraged that Cookie Monster hasn’t learned his lesson after close calls letting Crumb gain initial access to the following places where he was NOT authorized:

• The Crumb’s attempt to infiltrate Lady Crunchington’s dinner party
• The Crumb’s attempt to wake the King with a ginger snap cookie
• The Crumb’s attempt to ruin Giselle Biscotti’s photo shoot
• The Crumb’s attempt to damage the home of Chipowski’s Mom (on Mother’s Day of all things)
• The Crumb’s attempt to pull Ms. Crunchington out to sea

These are only a few examples of how time and again Cookie Monster demonstrates his inability to retain the skills necessary to make him a valuable member of the Smart Cookies. Sure, he may be decent at interpreting the clues that come out of Miss Fortune, but I must remind you that we would not need these clues in the first place if Cookie Monster had the ability to identify The Crumb instead of caving to poor logic and reasoning. I mean, does anyone other than Cookie Monster really believe that this is a baby and not The Crumb?

The "disguise" (left) that resulted in The Crumb entering a home and hiding a victim's teething biscuit. 

At this point, I feel the Smart Cookies are to blame for not removing Cookie Monster from his post. Their caseload would be far more manageable if only they had a more competent individual in Cookie Monster’s position. I know we all love Cookie Monster, my family included, my son even has his merch. But we can’t keep endangering community members being targeted by The Crumb just because Cookie Monster is endearingly stupid. Give him a desk job and intensive training. He has had his chance (actually, 11 of them). Enough is enough. The time has come to appoint a new member to the Smart Cookies.

Sincerely,

A concerned Sesame Street (Dual) Citizen